Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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