dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
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I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
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2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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