put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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