my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
