So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
