theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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