how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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