I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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