Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
