vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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