counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
