i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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