Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
