Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
