Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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