The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
