is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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