High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
