please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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