And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
