I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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