Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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