I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
