Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
