apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
