She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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