It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
