Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.