i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
