Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
