im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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