Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
