If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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