i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
