Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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