I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize