Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
