Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
