just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
