my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
