Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm just crazy horny about you
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
