I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
