Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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