I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
