Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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