....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Your cock deserves a montage
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
