i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
