He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
