i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize