that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
