You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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