youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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