Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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