Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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