Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
