He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
