dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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