No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
